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Title: Investing/Humor - Nascrap Makes fun of investing in Nasdaq companies. Humorous news, tools, and hotlist.
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Food_Industry_Management_Recruiting Specializes in the placement of Food Industry Professionals in the areas of Food Production, Supermarket and Distribution, Food Service, Restaurant, Culinary, Hotel Food and Beverage and Sales and Mar
| Integral_Consulting_Group,_Inc_ Focuses on aligning individuals and systems with an organization's goals and strategies, to create an environment which supports growth and improvement.
| Assurant_Group provide creditor-placed homeowners insurance, warranties and extended services contracts, health insurance, group life insurance and pre-funded funeral insurance.
| Contrax_Furniture Manufacturer of custom-made furniture, specializing in the production and installation of both commercial and residential commissions. Oxfordshire, UK
| Susanna_Davis UK. Suppliers of shear, plain, and open and dense hand woven, yarn and piece dyed fabrics for upholstery applications, from linen. Also, table linens, cushions, towels and fashion accessories. On-line
| Pashupati_Cotton_Industries India. Cotton roller ginning, processing and exporting company, specialised in long staple Indian cotton. Also, cotton oil, seeds and seed cake.
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Nascrap
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Steve
Ballmer announced the latest edition of the software
giant's Windows XP line of desktop operating systems: Windows XP
Homeless Edition.
"With XP Homeless, we're closing the gap for
a segment of society that has been historically underrepresented
in the software market."
"This version of XP is basically a limited
version of the XP Home edition. We’ve taken out Movie Maker,
Media Player, and Internet Explorer, and we’ve added PocketChange
Pro, Outlook Grim, Microsoft Streets & Trips, Cardboard Creator,
and Microsoft Train Tracks Simulator.”
"We've taken out a lot of the fluff and pizzazz
so that we could lower the price to 2.50, or whatever you've got
on you.”
Are
your investments in order?
Below are some of the latest rumors from Wall Street.
In the wake of the AOL/Time Warner deal, here are the latest mergers
we can expect to see:
1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics,
Fuller Brush,
and W.R. Grace Company merge to become Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
2. Polygram Records, Warner Brothers,
and Keebler Crackers
merge to become Polly-Warner-Cracker.
3. 3M and Goodyear merge to become MMMGood.
4. John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge
to become Deere Abi.
5. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors,
Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become Zip Audi Do Da.
6. Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge
to become Honey I'm Home.
7. Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal
Mining merge to
become Mine All Mine.
8. Federal Express and UPS merge to become
FED UP.
9. Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge and
begin manufacturing reproductive organs.
10. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell
Computers will merge and become Fairwell Honeychild.
11. 3M, J.C. Penney and the Canadian
Opera Company will merge and become 3 Penney Opera.
12. Knott's Berry Farm & National
Organization of Women will merge and become Knott NOW.
Top 10 Useless Inventions
10. Inflatable
Anchor
9. Silent Alarm Clock
8. Solar Powered Flash Light
7. A black highlighter pen
6. Waterproof sponge
5. Battery powered Battery Charger
4. Ejector seats for Helicopters
3. Braille Drivers Manual
2. Double sided playing cards
1. A Pedal powered wheelchair
THE LIST GO'S ON
Top 5 Business Signs That
Make You Think
5. On a Plumbers
truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
4. At a towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg, just a toe."
3. In the front yard of a funeral
home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
2. In a veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
1. On an electrician's truck:
"We'll remove your shorts."
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Makes | fun | of | investing | in | Nasdaq | companies. | Humorous | news, | tools, | and | hotlist. |
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http://www.nascrap.com/
Nascrap 2008 October
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Makes fun of investing in Nasdaq companies. Humorous news, tools, and hotlist.
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